The things that were once of interest to me fail to excite me anymore. The toys of my past tell tales of neglect. The novelties of my youth are novel no longer. The cheerfulness within is dying. Smiles now have to be coerced.
Have the realities of this world gotten to me? Or am I just weary?
We all dream to achieve great things in life. We have great ambitions, and no one has the right to fault us for having them.
Along the way, we are bound to falter. We lose our footing, slip, and end up somewhere else in life. Being such adaptive humans, we adjust, and learn to be content with whatever we have ended up with. And then, life goes on.
I once wrote, "Aim for the moon. At least when you miss, you end up amongst the stars." On hindsight, if we desire the moon, are we cheating ourselves to being satisfied with mere stars, that would pale in our perceived beauty of the moon? Or are we kneeling to the fallacy of getting on with life? Do we see second best as the best in that situation, or are we changing the situation to suit the outcome?
Well it's autumn, and this is the 100th entry in my blog. It's been about 10 months, and nothing much has changed. Well some things have changed, but by and large my life is still the same. About 10 months ago I got back from Taiwan, that's when I thought my life was going to take on a whole new direction. Guess not.
I guess I've grown this past year. More patient, understanding (I think), blah blah yadda yadda. But it's not for me to say though. Life goes on. Set a goal. Then take one day at a time. I just hope I'm walking along the right path.
When the sun goes down, it brings hope along with it. Night sets in, with darkness and despair by its side, and eats into your heart, your soul, your being. You hide, petrified of the bloodied nails of hopelessness.
You moan at the lost opportunity that the sun had given, before it mocked you and went away. Questions plague your mind. Could you, would you, should you? But you didn't. And it all slipped away.
Minutes, hours pass. The sun creeps up behind the night, slowly eating away the darkness, bringing along hope. You smile, relieved that a new dawn is upon you.
But will this be a new sun? Or the hope of yesterday returned?
