If I could turn back time..

to 6 years ago. A daft 19 year old who thought the world of himself. Who had an ego too big for him to handle. Who envisioned the world revolving around him. Who was too proud to realise the harm he was doing. Who broke a little girl's heart. Who destroyed a life with her.


History has a funny way of coming back to haunt us. And I am no different. The events of that night still plague me. I never forgave myself, and I guess I will never. To think I could commit an act so inhuman, so lacking of any human emotion is beyond me. Death by stoning would have seemed deserving.


Now, 6 years on, older, maybe wiser, but still holding onto the chains of the past. To say that I am sorry now would probably mean nothing to you. But with words, that is all I can offer. To shed a tear would probably be nothing more than a drop of water.


You probably won't ever see this, but I will still write it. What I did has stayed with me everyday since then. Not deserving forgiveness, not deserving mercy. But yet I beg for it. Yes I'll beg for it.


Why do I still write this? For closure? To justify that I still have a conscience? No. It's simply because I still love her.